hosting a no-stress gathering.

I remember hosting my first party. I’m just gonna come out and say it was probably awful. It was my high school graduation party (looking back, maybe that’s just stressful in itself to throw yourself a graduation party?! probably should have thought about that). I’m an extrovert, so it sounded awesome to have a house full of friends. That is, until they showed up. Then the overwhelm of the party started kicking in… I started overthinking everyone’s body language and it stressed me out. I felt bad for not hanging out with everyone equally. I was worried that people weren’t enjoying themselves. I felt self conscious about everything- the food, the atmosphere, my house, etc.

Does this sound familiar to you? If you’re internally nodding your head, I’ve got some tips for you to help you enjoooooy your time hosting. And if you’re an ultra super party host, go ahead and skim this and comment your tips as well!

1. Don’t focus on timing everything. People will be early and you’re not ready (it’s ok). People will be late and it’ll be awkward (it’s ok). The food won’t magically be hot and plated and prepped at the same time (it’s ok).  Ride it out. Part of making your guests feel at home is not having a perfectly staged production. And on the plus side, things will come together faster every time you host a party. Just keep refining your skill!
2. Let other people help you. You don’t have to do everything yourself! If 8 people need drinks, let someone else get the glasses and ice them up. If someone is offering to help cook or clean, you don’t need to turn them down to maintain your master-host persona. Let them help! They aren’t gonna judge you – actually, they’ll probably feel a little more at home, and like they have a purpose for being there. And they’re gonna help you… and YOU NEED THIS. ?
3. Set up your guests to entertain themselves. Unless you’re catering a meal and have zero details to attend to, you’re probably not going to have full focus to give to your guests up front. Setting up a coffee bar, snack table, some good music, something interactive, or a talkative person (thanks Peter!) can help get everyone settled in without you carrying it all yourselves.
4. Genuinely enjoy your guests. This is just a mental game – you have to unplug from all the overwhelm to be one-on-one with someone. Don’t be like ole 16yr old Sarah and feel bad for not spending equal QT with everyone. If you get one on one time with a friend, soak it up. And if they’re talking it up with someone new, pat yourself on the back. That’s what organic relationships feel like, and you made the environment for that to happen.
5. Keep it moving. I have a stash of ideas that I pull from to keep the gathering “going.” If conversation starts dragging, make a fresh pot of coffee and start passing it out. Bring out some desserts (sugar always makes people happy!). Umm, make a batch of banana muffins on the fly (20 minutes, yo). Play a game. Show them the latest funny video you found on Instagram. Keep it up until people open up and you feel like you settle in to your hosting zone. I promise you can do it.